Sadness …Ma papa are leaving in the afternoon. This trip has been so good. Growing up I never thought we (My parents and me) can ever come to a consensus on anything. Now I have realized how much both sides have grown up. Though we still cant come to a consensus but we can live peacefully under a roof giving each other enough space to survive happily.
Actually I think with your kids you also grow and learn new lessons in life. Now with a baby there is a different meaning or outlook in life. And I think even for my parents…..seeing us become responsible and parents drew the line..
Guess they know now..I am responsible enough to take decisions in life..to move ahead and do good..
Suddenly feel so grown up and mature but Hahhhh still want to curl up in their laps and ask them not to leave me and aarav. It was so easy and nice when they were here. Its so unreal how they would take up your responsibilities subtly without you realizing it, only when they are leaving after fifteen days I know how dependent I have become on them. Not only for the baby but also for me.
It’s so different and nice to be taken care of after such a long gap of just being on yourself. The funniest was them going on and on about my growing up stories in front of The Husband, who till now was always the center of attention..And suddenly I think he realized now everyone’s world doesn’t revolve around him…and to my surprise he was asking questions and was curious to know more…that was completely unexpected.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
living in circles
Life…a serious questionmark..not sure what I want from life…feel so greedy because I want everything.
Its almost ten in the night. Travelling back home from work. Thinking of everything on earth but mind keeps running in circles. Guess not being sure where I want to go from here is the biggest concern.
Can I be unsure at age 30? With a baby? I can’t afford to be unsure..too many responsibilities riding on my shoulders…
My best friend is calling to check if I have left work…wish I can be in her shoes..Not that she is at a better place in life…but atleast with lesser responsibilities……
I think m living in circles…right now stuck between 2 circles of wanting to be responsible and thinking about my family and the other circle wanting to be free me…decide my life path without any ifs and buts..Difficult.
But I think the less selfish part would finally win…m sure it would…but its just that living first for yourself is so much fun than living for anyone else..
But thinking about it if I have to make that compromise I would rather make it for my kid than for anyone else.
Hah… emotional and not so selfish…this side always wins…
Next want to write about how life’s perspective post a baby would change and still not change. I think the perspective to life may not change so much OR may be what you would want in life would be different but it would still be selfish..only difference you would be selfish for your kid
Its almost ten in the night. Travelling back home from work. Thinking of everything on earth but mind keeps running in circles. Guess not being sure where I want to go from here is the biggest concern.
Can I be unsure at age 30? With a baby? I can’t afford to be unsure..too many responsibilities riding on my shoulders…
My best friend is calling to check if I have left work…wish I can be in her shoes..Not that she is at a better place in life…but atleast with lesser responsibilities……
I think m living in circles…right now stuck between 2 circles of wanting to be responsible and thinking about my family and the other circle wanting to be free me…decide my life path without any ifs and buts..Difficult.
But I think the less selfish part would finally win…m sure it would…but its just that living first for yourself is so much fun than living for anyone else..
But thinking about it if I have to make that compromise I would rather make it for my kid than for anyone else.
Hah… emotional and not so selfish…this side always wins…
Next want to write about how life’s perspective post a baby would change and still not change. I think the perspective to life may not change so much OR may be what you would want in life would be different but it would still be selfish..only difference you would be selfish for your kid
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