living in circles

Life…a serious questionmark..not sure what I want from life…feel so greedy because I want everything.

Its almost ten in the night. Travelling back home from work. Thinking of everything on earth but mind keeps running in circles. Guess not being sure where I want to go from here is the biggest concern.

Can I be unsure at age 30? With a baby? I can’t afford to be unsure..too many responsibilities riding on my shoulders…

My best friend is calling to check if I have left work…wish I can be in her shoes..Not that she is at a better place in life…but atleast with lesser responsibilities……

I think m living in circles…right now stuck between 2 circles of wanting to be responsible and thinking about my family and the other circle wanting to be free me…decide my life path without any ifs and buts..Difficult.

But I think the less selfish part would finally win…m sure it would…but its just that living first for yourself is so much fun than living for anyone else..

But thinking about it if I have to make that compromise I would rather make it for my kid than for anyone else.

Hah… emotional and not so selfish…this side always wins…

Next want to write about how life’s perspective post a baby would change and still not change. I think the perspective to life may not change so much OR may be what you would want in life would be different but it would still be selfish..only difference you would be selfish for your kid